Heartbroken?

This was the last thing I'd expect from myself. A friend of mine just made me realize a few days ago that I had fallen in love with someone close to me, unfortunately, he just got together with another close friend of mine - and they're people I'm almost always with, mind you.. so yeah, it's torture on my part.

I had tried denying, I didn't want to accept it, because I knew.. if I had accepted my feelings, it would be harder for me to disregard it.. and even before, I told my friend that "It was impossible, because I haven't fallen in love yet", he just told me "But I think that a part of you has already fallen in love with him, especially since you're feeling jealous" - aha! big slap in the face! And when I had told two other close friends of mine, they also confirmed that I had indeed fallen in love with the guy.. argh, it sucks, big time!

For the past few days I had wanted to break down and cry, but I couldn't. Sure there are moments when I feel so damn depressed, but all that would come out from me are a few tears that would eventually go away, but the burden on my heart will always be there.. since it became a practice to me over the years to keep most of my problems to myself, I really find it hard to let it all out, I'd cry when I'm alone.. but when friends or aquaintances come around.. the crying would immedietely stop and would be replaced by a smile.

What hurts more is that I can't tell it to my close friends, I feel like our own group is starting to have barriers, or whatever you call it, that's refraining us from telling everything or whatever's wrong to just anyone in the group.. blah, this really sucks.. I swear.

I'm starting to get all bitchy because of it, and it's affecting everyone negatively.. and with all the other problems I have, being emotionally unstable doesn't help me in anything at all!

Post Birthday Dinner

I just got home from my post birthday dinner with my close friends at school, eventhough I had a bad and bit tiring start for the day, I really enjoyed dinner with them earlier this evening.. we ate at Korean Village near Adriatico Circle, then went to Starbucks to drink and hang out for a bit.. we had fun, but I realized how jealous I can really get.. but oh well, that's that, just a few more months for me and it'll eventually go away anyway.. anyhoo, it's time to hit the sack! I'm really tired @_@;

Officially Legal

I don't really get excited when it comes to my birthdays.. it's just another day for me, but since it's my first birthday with at school and since it's my 18th birthday.. I decided to dress up a bit, made my outfit more "girly" than usual.. and I wanted to see what my friends' reactions would be, haha

Anyhoo, I spent the whole day at school.. arrived there around 7.15 in the mornin.. saw G and Harbin at the cube, sheesh! they're really early! MSo and Leah arrived around 8, we were talking and all.. oh! and MSo gave me a shirt, am really grateful, I'm not used to getting gifts on my birthday <_< anyway, I said thanks and all, then suddenly someone brought up the subject about my birthday and such, then G suddenly asked me "When's your birthday anyway Kim?" and I said "uh.. today?" he suddenly had a surprised look on his face and started singing happy birthday! it was really funny the rest of the day went ok, I found it a bit amusing when the other peeps didn't know it was my birthday, and if someone greeted me they'd be surprised or whatever expression they might have, then they'd greet me as well, haha! I'm still grateful for those who remembered what day it was and greeted me, especially the people who I didn't expect to remember.. or even know that it was my birthday!

Anyway my last class ended around 7.30 in the evenin, then I ate dinner with my family right after.. this day was more eventful.. but I'm really exhausted, I don't think I can type anymore.. haha, I'll be hitting the sack in the bit, I still have an early start tomorrow.

Dead tired

ComLink's teambuilding was from May 12 - 14 at Overlook Resort in Antipolo and I just got back home... alot of stuff has happened, there were issues, old ones were discussed and new ones arose.. I'll just type down the stuff that happened during our stay there some other time, my brain won't function properly right now.. I'm really sleepy!

Oh by the way.. Linh's already back from her trip to Europe then Vietnam (she got back here on the 10th). She brought back a British accent and her hair's wavy now! O_O

Some things are a load of crap

...and I should really learn to shut up.

One hell of a weekend

I went to Tagaytay over the weekend to attend PLANS (Planning for Leaders/Artists, Networking and Synergy) the 5 executive board officers + outreach head of all organizations at school were required to go, it was some sort of training thingy for us, it was really eventful. I went with Abi (el presidente), Leah (vp internal), Bur (vp external), Harbin (secretary) and Big (treasurer).. I'm the outreach head :D

April 29, 06 (Saturday)
Went to fetch Leah from her place around 6? uh, can't remember.. we reached school around 6.30 (Funny thing - she went to school wearing her slippers and brought the remote control along.. thinking that it was her phone, lol) Aaaanyhoo, we left the school around 7.30-8 I think, can't really remember, the trip to Tagaytay lasted around 2 hours or so. When we got there, we went to the conference hall (? don't really know what to call it) was briefed about the rules and regulations, registered our names and took keys for the lockers then went to our uh.. dorms? I don't really know what to call it, 1 room has around 15 double deck beds... there were like 20+ people in 1 room!

April 30, 06 (Sunday)
Day started ok I think, but the food was crap.. it really sucked. Anyway, we had done alot of activities and it was really tiring! I think we started around 8.30 and ended around 12-12.30.. blah, had to take a bath right after because I was sweaty from the activities, and the sun was out too! We had a 2 hour break and resumed afterwards.. good thing we didn't do any other activities that were too tiring anymore. It continued til around 7.30-8 then we got to eat dinner (food still sucked - and Leah vomitted <_<)the session resumed around 8.30-9, there was a lil discussion then we were asked to talk with our org/officers.. it was kinda fun, we were the last ones to finish, we bonded for hours! from 10 in the evening up til 4.30 in the morning! wahahah.

May 1, 06 (Monday)
I barely had any sleep (slept only for 2 hours - Leah and Abi had a hard time waking me up, they only got to sleep for an hour) and when I woke up I was really groggy, I couldn't walk properly! you'd think I was drunk if you saw me! ~_~; Wasn't able to eat breakfast, but drank coffee - that's why I atleast survived the remaining session before we left the place. We left around 3.. and arrived at school around 5pm, went to Starbucks while waiting for my dad.. we stayed there til 6-6.30, just talking with each other.


I wasn't able to make it detailed anymore, it's already 12.14 in the morning as I'm editing this post. anyway, off to bed I go~