Reminiscing.

2006 is just a few hours away from now, it's kinda hard to believe that the year's almost done o_O It felt like only yesterday when I started out as a college freshman, and now.. I'm at my 3rd term O_O; time really flies by quickly.

Lots of memories of 2005 will be kept at the back of my mind, and I'll bring that with me as more days pass. Memories do build up and there are chances that I might forget details, names or whatever, but I do know that important events of the past year will be held close to my heart.

Haiz~ 2006 is another year, another fresh start, but I wonder if I'll ever change myself o_O

Projects = pwned.

Finally! I'm finally finished with those projects that had been thrown at us by our professors x_X The only thing left undone are my finals.. just 2 more days and I'll be able to rest (from school anyway XD)

Oh yeah! I saw my HS kadamate earlier -I was really surprised XD she said she was going to our school fair, which is next week! (Dec.21-22) she also said our other kadamates will be going too~ I can't wait til then! I haven't seen them eversince our periodic exams last year, they never went to the prom and I never saw them during graduation (I was at the airport T_T) I really miss them~ ^^

Hmm, just a few more days left.. advanced Merry Christmas minna! Enjoy the holiday season! ^-^

Just about done.

I'm almost done with all of my projects, all that's left is a reporting I have tomorrow and another on wednesday, then it'll be time for meh finals! Just a few more days left, then I can finally rest for a few weeks :) I really do hope I do well for my reporting, I'm still a bit nervous ~.~;

Night everyone~ time to get some shut-eye :D

[Random Rant]
Just when I thought that my day was gonna end fine, dad comes around and ruins it -_-;
[/Rant]

Damn

I really hate it when I get all emotional, I can hardly get any work done >.<

Why do I even bother?

-I'm warning you in advance, this entry is full of crap and cussing, if you don't want any of that.. close this window and go surf the net for something else-


I try my best to get high grades, work my ass off over projects, make sure I get to pass assignments, all the things I'm doing now, I never did back in high school. I do all that crap because I thought I was going to prove something to my parents by doing so, so far my grades are all good, my lowest grade is 2 (around 84 or something) and my highest grade can go as high as 3.5 to 4 (88-90+) I thought, "When my parents see this, they'll finally know that I'm not slacking off like before!" BUT WTF DO I GET?

When I work late JUST to get a project or assignment done.. my dad SCOLDS me, he tells me that I should stop using the fucking computer and go to sleep because I'm not doing ANYTHING IMPORTANT, and usually I get home around 8pm -30mins-1hr when it comes to dinner, then my dad asks me to go to bed around 9-10pm, tangina! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ANYTHING DONE? I won't be able to finish one fucking assignment within that time! how much more for a project? or a research due THE NEXT DAY?!

I'm even going to take an entrance exam at DLSU, but I wish I wont pass.. weird right? BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FRIGGIN TRANSFER SCHOOLS ANYMORE! >.<; they're even asking me to get a course I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY INTEREST IN.. POTA! I don't even know WHYYYYYYYY I had gone through with it, and convinced a classmate of mine to change reporting schedules with me (my schedule for reporting landed on the same day of the entrance exam for transferees /swt) I'm even going to have 1 absence in my classes that day, I'm going to waste that .5 that one of my profs will give to our class (in the final grade mind you) if we don't have any absences in her class >_<

But to be completely honest, I don't even know what I want to do when I graduate.. I don't have any expertise.. I'm not good at anything (maybe except for playing fucking games) and ranting for daaaaaaaysss and dayyyysssssssssssssssss. Reason why I don't know what course I want to get for college and ended up in BSBA Computer Applications, I know it requires programming, but I really suck at programming, sure I get all those codes and stuff.. but I don't really know how anything really works, NOR can I think of any possible solution for a problem given (had those kind of hands-on works back in high school) why? BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!

Hay, I don't even know why I'm even alive, I don't have any plans -any goals or dreams in life, I only go with the flow without knowing anything really -I'm one really stupid person with no direction whatsoever in life and that life is so fucked up.

Last night was another night I had to spend crying my heart out and felt so alone, yet again.